A Behavior Contract w/ your Tween
Enforcing Mature and Responsible Actions with your Children
Tweens need structure and guidance to help steer them in the right direction. Sometimes they need that extra nudge to keep them on track. Could this be a solution?
What is a behavior contract?
It is a parenting method thought to control unwanted behavior in tweens in a clear and effective way. The object of the contract is to distinctly identify what is expected of a child, with no gray areas, and what rewards or consequences can be expected.
Parents and child have a say in what goes into a contract, but once an agreement is decided upon, the contract is solid and cannot be changed. A contract is not placed into effect until it is signed and dated by both parties (parent(s) and pre-teen). A copy is given to the parent(s) and to the child.
What kinds of contracts are available?
Basically, a contract can cover any behavioral issues that are necessary to keep a family running smoothly. Examples of contracts that can be drawn are on the matters of use of illegal substances, dating, defining what are privileges and what are necessities, and general expected behavior. Of course, contracts can be customized to fit family needs and the needs of individual children. You can have more than one contract in effect at any time.
How will this benefit my child?
Behavior contracts are thought to encourage good behavior because incentives or rewards are given for accomplishing goals set forth in the contract. The incentive that you choose for your child should be something that is easily to moderately obtainable and something that they desire. Making an incentive too easy or too hard to achieve will not cause your child to stay motivated to continue good behavior. It can be in the form of money, a shopping trip, extended curfew, or anything else that you and your child agree upon.
On the other hand, consequences that are agreed upon need to be followed through just as well. In all honesty, a child will be happy to remind you when a reward is achieved, but not so likely to announce that there is a consequence. In any case, consequences should not come as a surprise, since they are clearly outlined in the signed agreement.
What are the advantages of behavior contracts?
- They provide structure to a family.
- They have already been proven to change unwanted behavior.
- They are a good way to implement family values.
- They reduce tension and arguments because a child knows what is expected of her.
What are the disadvantages of behavior contracts?
- The system will not work, if the parent(s) does not enforce it properly.
- They are not effective if the child is given too much say in what goes into the contract.
Where are behavior contracts available?
You can make your own contract at home or you can purchase them on-line from various companies, which range in price. Two particularly good resources on-line are:
Related Suite101 Articles
Parent/Teen Contracts - For troubled teens
ADHD and Behavior Contracts - For children with learning disabilities
