As a child turns into the tween years, you may find that your current strategies for effective discipline are no longer working. Sitting in timeout is a thing of the past. Spanking seems rather demeaning to a child this age, if that was your preference. If you were accustomed to giving threats for bad behavior, but did not follow through with your actions, your child is on to you by now, and ignores your fleeting fits.
Discipline versus Punishment
In order to plan discipline strategies for your growing child, it is important to remember that discipline is not the same as punishment. Punishment is a penalty. It is a way to inflict physical consequences for a wrongdoing. On the other hand, discipline is a measure taken to correct misbehavior through changing actions and teaching ways to improve one's self.
Developing a Discipline Plan
Executing a successful discipline plan for your tween is difficult. What works for one child might not be as effective for another child. One common entity, though, is that in the process of finding the right strategies, your goals for discipline should include:
- Maintaining your child's positive self-esteem
- Rendering discipline with love
- Teaching important values such as getting along with others, being responsible, and learning self-control
Your plan should be based on the following stipulations:
- Setting limits and boundaries that your child verbally repeats back to you and shows understanding.
- Teaching what he did wrong when he makes a mistake, so he can, hopefully, avoid the same wrongdoing in the future.
- Responding to misbehavior with firmness and deliver the appropriate actions when necessary, but still love and respect your child.
Keys to Effective Discipline
When delivering an action within a discipline plan, it is important that your child knows ahead of time what consequences will be for certain categories of misbehavior. There should be no surprises when an action is delivered.
Use plenty of praise when your tween has done something right.
Be consistent with your discipline plan. Tweens thrive on routine and patterns. Alert your tween when a rule needs to change.
Remember that your child is learning a lot by the way you react to situations. Keep your cool and give yourself a timeout if you need to before discussing misbehavior issues.
What Does Not Work in Effective Discipline
Yelling and screaming at a child. You are not teaching him anything by doing this, except the fact that he knows how to push your buttons.
Scolding. This can be demeaning to a child and make him feel more like a little kid than someone who is growing and needs nurturing.
Ignoring misbehaviors. Simply ignoring something that your child has done wrong will not only lead to future mishaps, but also tells your child that he can do what he wants when he wants. It also shows lack of concern for your child's well-being on your part as a parent.
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