How to Prepare Shy Girls for Slumber Parties
Help Introverted Tweens Get Ready for Sleepovers with Girlfriends
Eating junk food, exchanging gossip, dancing to music, watching movies and playing games – these are what make slumber parties so much fun. However, not all tween girls look forward to spending a night in a strange bed with their peers. The thought of not being able to sleep in the comfort of her own bed and of being away from home can be quite distressing for a shy girl.
Declining slumber party invitations isn’t going to help. Not only will the child be missing out a big part of her middle childhood, she may soon find herself left out in many activities with other girls her age. Instead, her parents should encourage her to attend sleepovers to help build her confidence and social skills.
Dr. Bernado J. Carducci, director of the Shyness Research Institute at the Indiana University Southeast and author of The Shyness Breakthrough [USA: Rodale, 2003], shares some ideas for a shy girl to enjoy slumber parties.
Have a Talk about the Slumber Party first
This is especially useful if the child is attending a slumber party for the first time. Talk to her and give her an idea of what it would be like to spend a night at a friend’s house. It may be strange, awkward and uncomfortable, but that is normal. People often feel a little out of place in other people’s homes anyway. However, assure her that all will be fine as she will be with friends and do fun things together.
Talk to the Parents of the Girl Hosting the Party
If someone is hosting a party, she is likely to want her guests to feel comfortable. So it helps to let the family hosting the party know that a shy child may face some problem settling in and having a good time. “Let them know that your child may have a little difficulty during the night and ask to have someone check up on her,” suggests Carducci.
Take the Child to the Friend’s House
Make it a point to take the child to the party yourself. Don’t ask her to get a ride from someone or ask a friend to send her there. Don’t just drop her at the door either. Enter the house and greet the hosts together. If she feels uncomfortable, offer to stay for a while and have some small talk with the other kids there. Excuse yourself and leave when she seems more at ease and has started chatting with the others.
Keep Communication Open for Shy Child
Let the child know that she can call home any time she feels the need. If she does call, ask her what is troubling her. Assure her it will be fine. Then ask her to call back half an hour later to see how she is coping. “If she’s still worried, offer to pick her up,” says Carducci.
If she doesn’t call home, the parent can call the friend’s parents for an update. If she is unsettled, ask to have a short talk with her. If she seems to be enjoying herself, there is no need to speak to her. Just ask the host to tell her that mum called earlier.
Bring Something Familiar to the Slumber Party
A favourite stuffed animal, pillow or book can be comforting for the child away from home. So let her bring along something she cherishes to the slumber party.
When the child returns from the slumber party, ask her how she finds it. If she had a great time, that means she is slowly building some confidence. If she didn’t, don’t make a big deal out of it. You may want to consider hosting a slumber party in the near future. When she’s playing host to other girls, your child is on familiar grounds and will feel more in control. This too will slowly help her to be more confident and independent.
Parents Can Help Shy Girls Prepare for Sleepovers
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