Parenting twin tweens can bring it's own set of difficult challenges and rewards. Individual friends, belongings and talents are important to reduce competition in twins.
Twins can have their own set of special challenges, especially when they’re both striving for their independence and heading towards puberty. It’s important for twins to have their own individuality and separate interests and talents should be praised and encouraged.
- Often one twin will excel in one thing while the other has a weakness in that same area. This is particularly true of fraternal twins which are from two separate eggs.
- If one seems to be struggling to try to catch up or compete with the other, attempt a diversion into another strength that they do have. For example, one twin may enjoy and excel in something like soccer and baseball, while the other may be more musically inclined and creative. Even if the musically inclined twin doesn’t like sports, they may pressure themselves to try to be as good as the other. If their own talents in art or music are pointed out, praised and encouraged they’re not as likely to feel competitive or left out.
Other twin challenges:
- Another challenge with twin tweens is maintaining the same rules for each child. One is sometimes more responsible, so the tendency could be to allow one more privileges or responsibilities. In some instances this can’t be avoided and separate rules have to be given in fairness to the more responsible child.
- A possible scenario for different rules would be one can be trusted with the house key while the other can’t because they’ve already lost one. Another would be one gets to go outside earlier because they finished their homework while the other must stay in until it’s complete.
- Friendships are another challenge, especially if the twins are the same sex. If it gets too vicious then you must intervene, but generally children tend to sort friendships out themselves. Even if they seem like enemies one day they may all be best friends the next. Parents often forget this when they get too involved with children’s squabbles. Sometimes neighborhood parents are still feuding long after the children have resolved their issues.
- Daily routines and schedules should be fairly set in stone so that each twin can count on their own time in the bathroom to bathe in the evening or before school. When one is aware of their allocated time, there’s less likely to be friction, fighting and chaos. They should also each have their own individual wardrobe and toiletries.
Parenting tween twins can be a lot of fun, but when they’re both struggling to maintain an individual identity and heading towards puberty and mood swings, it’s not always going to easy.
The copyright of the article Parenting Twin Tweens in Parenting Tweens is owned by Sandra Williams. Permission to republish Parenting Twin Tweens in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.
