With the need to be more independent comes the necessity of being more responsible. Teach your preteen how to stay safe and use caution when doing things on his own.
Part of being the parent of a preteen is the constant complaining that your child wants more freedom. He wants to spread his wings and try new things without your piercing eyes watching every move he makes. And, rightfully so, this is the time to start letting him have independent experiences. It is scary, though, isn't it?
Here are some things to remember when you start letting go when it comes to the safety of your child. Even though he is ready, you are still in control and your voice still needs to be heard in all situations.
The Four Ws
Who is my child spending his time with? You have the right to know exactly who your child is hanging out with and meeting these friends before you allow him to have some freedom.
What is my child doing with his friend? Find out what activities your child and his friends will be participating in while he is away from you. Be aware if there will be other adult supervision or not.
Where will my child be at all times? Know the place or places that your child intends to visit while hanging out with friends. If he is going to be at someone else's house, make sure you have the number where you can reach your child at all times.
When should my child be home? Give your child clear instructions on what time he is expected back home or when you are going to pick him up. Let there be no room for excuses, unless there was a definite immediate emergency preventing your child from being home on time.
Other Safety Measures
If possible, meet the parents of your child's friends. Seeing faces and talking with them will give you a good handle of what type of environment your child will be in when he is not at home. Likewise, do not take offense if a family wants to meet you for the same reasons. It just shows that this family cares about their child's whereabouts and interactions as well.
Set rules and make sure your child understands the rules. Let your child know how you expect to him to behave at a friend's house. If he is going to a place other than a home, check it out first. Let him know places he is not allowed to be at under any circumstances.
Since kids play a lot of video games and play games on the Internet, it is very important that you set rules about these activities, especially if there will be no adult supervision while your child is away from you. Kids are curious and the potential dangers on the Internet are immense these days. Also talk about what rating your child is allowed to play on video games, as well. Most "Teen" rated games have bad language and intense violence that you should be aware of.
On the Lighter Side
This is an exciting time in your preteen's life. He very well may be nervous about his first outing without your supervision, so he does need to know that wanting to be more independent is a good thing. Offer words of encouragement, and let him know that you will be a phone call away, if he needs you for anything. Always reiterate that with more independence comes necessary responsibility.
