Pre-teens are looking to define themselves. Who are they?
Well, who they have around them will have a lasting impact on who they become. Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan are in the spotlight, but they’re not role models. How can you help your kids choose real role models that will help shape their future?
Parents Need to be Role Models
If you want to shape the life of your child, be a role model yourself. There are many ways parents can be role models. Take time to listen. Try to understand what it is like to be 12. Don’t spend every waking minute preaching to your kids. Make sure to take time to tell your kids you love them. No matter what they say, they want to hear you say that.
Help Your Kids Choose Role Models
Talk to your kids about people they admire. Help them find people who are successful. Help them find people who think it’s OK not to conform to what everyone else is doing.
Nobody ever wants to be a drug dealer when they’re 5 years old. Nobody ever wants to be a bank robber when they’re 6. More than likely, your kids will want to be like someone who’s nice, successful and smart. Reinforce these characteristics and help them find role models that meet these standards.
Most kids find celebrity role models. This is OK, but remember that role models can have a stronger influence if they’re every day contacts -- like a school nurse, teacher or pastor.
Know Where Your Kids Are
The best way to know that your kids have good role models is to know their friends. Who are your kids hanging out with? If they haven’t brought them around the house, that’s probably a red flag. Make sure all friends, whether they talk in person, on the phone, or on the computer, are friends that you know and approve of. The best way to make sure that your kids are being influenced in a positive way is to know who’s doing the influencing.
Tough Times Build Character
There is probably no tougher time than the pre-teen years. There will be struggles and heartache. Teach your kids that their character is made and shown through the tough times.
Christopher Reeve, best known for his role as Superman, was a role model to thousands of kids. When he became wheelchair-bound later in life, he found the strength to move on and continue to help people.
"What I do is based on powers we all have inside us, the ability to endure; the ability to love, to carry on, to make the best of what we have – and you don’t have to be a ‘Superman’ to do it," Reeve said in an interview taped May 27, 2001. It was used in a documentary about Reeve called Hope in Motion.
