Helping Your Tween Set Goals

Giving Them Something to Look Forward To

© Denise Oliveri

May 31, 2007

Helping your child set and achieve goals will prove to raise self-esteem, give him a sense of accomplishment, and show that you can reach the stars if you try.


My 10-year-old son wanted me to make him a bowl of air-popped popcorn. I was too busy at the time to do it, so I told him I would teach him how to do it himself later. When the time came that I was able to teach him, he got pouty and decided that it was too hard to learn.

This got me to thinking that while tweens are beginning to spread their wings, sometimes they need a mother's push (or father's) to kick them out of their comfort zone. I was recently reading "The Everything Tween Book" by Linda Sonna, Ph.D., and spotted a section on helping tweens set and accomplish goals. Whether it is as simple as making popcorn or as involved as saving a set amount of money for something special, here are some handy tips that I learned. I hope you will find them useful, too:

Select Categories for Goals

  • School achievements (bringing up a grade one level or practicing neater handwriting)
  • Family (go two weeks without fighting with sibling)
  • Money (save for a new Tech Deck set)
  • Personal (brush teeth twice a day, instead of once a day)
  • Health (drink Juicy Juice instead of Hi-C)
  • Friends (be better at making compromises)

The list goes on and on. Your child does not have to work on all these areas at once. In fact, starting with one area is a good idea. When he sees his accomplishment in that area, he will have the confidence to do more. You know, take a bite instead of swallowing the whole thing and wind up choking!

Oh yeah, my son did learn to make popcorn by himself, and he is always asking if anyone wants some. I love the progress.


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