Parenting Tweens

» mandyrufle - Spanking

The arrogance and attitude came because of their age not because you stopped spanking. I have a 12 and 14 year old. So I know.

I also was spanked often as a child. With a belt. So as you can expect I am against it on many levels.

I never spanked my boys and they were great kids and then they became tweens. So they have a little attitude, they get grounded.
We get creative and employ what me and my husband call "real consequences".
For example, my son was mouthing off to me before I was supposed to give him a ride to be with a friend. His "real consequence" was, that I won't give him a ride. He was mean to me and now I won't do you a favor. He learned real quick, treat me nicely, because I don't owe you any favors.

The last time I was spanked I was 14. That was way too old. My relationship is strained to this day with my father, and I can't help but believe that was part of it. Tweens and teens need to learn how to deal with problems with out hitting. Do you want your kids to be afraid of you? When they are, they hide from you too. Both me and my brother did just that. We had to hide everything because we were afraid of what he might do to us. That is all spanking will do for you too- believe me.

They are getting to an age that you have to be more creative than that. They need guidance on how to behave. How will spanking do that?

-- posted by mandyrufle